JoyfulC's Blog

I am totally impressed!

Thu, 24 Dec 2009 15:19:15 GMT

Of course I've always realized that members of our monarchy are involved in a number of worthy causes, and do much good work. But this week, I was completely floored when I learned that Prince William actually spent a night sleeping in an alley, to highlight the plight of the homeless. Most of us couldn't imagine what it would be like to have no where to go, and yet, so many people -- including elderly, children, and the unwell -- live in such conditions throughout the "civilized" world. I'm fairly certain that, despite frigid temperatures, there have been homeless sleeping on the streets (not in shelters) these past few nights.

I'm not sure I would have the courage to do it, although I've always wanted to try it, just to see. What Prince William chose to do certainly couldn't have been pleasant or comfortable, but he did it anyway. I truly am beginning to admire him.

I've also found a very good (if depressing!) web site that chronicles stories of the homeless. It's at InvisiblePeople.tv (I find the videos load better for me if I turn HD off.)

Merry Christmas to everyone. I know from stories I hear from people I meet that we've all had a rough past year and change -- but if you're reading this blog, you're probably (like me!) lucky to have come through it relatively unscathed. I don't know about you all, but in my case, I think I have luck to thank for a lot of it.

New Year's Resolutions

Wed, 23 Dec 2009 23:47:40 GMT

Ah, it's this time of year again, when I must declare to pay more attention to items on my perpetual to-do list.

Yeesh.

Okay, in 2010, I promise to:

be more proactive about making up staples for my kitchen -- lard, tortillas for the freezer (our version of "fast food"), broths, fruit syrups, put up fruits and veggies...

start the year off with a thoroughly cleaned house (... due to the unusually high humidity, we found some mold growing in some of our "deep storage" areas -- which is tough to deal with)

get new pics and video for my site(s) showing my natural hair colour

write more erotica

try to pay more attention to my girlfriends and be more compassionate WRT what's going on in their lives

visit Ottawa more frequently, so that I have availability for new people or infrequent friends

pay better attention to my pets' teeth

clean my basement (including vacuum up dead spider webs)

Find a used chest freezer and convert to an ultra-efficient fridge

Get rid off a PILE of junk!!!!!

keep a better calendar of my family's and friend's special dates (...previous attempts at this have mangled)

keep better track of my expenses for tax purposes

tighten up my household budget

...yeah...

that oughta be a good start ... you think?

Yay! 1st ski of year.

Sun, 13 Dec 2009 20:56:57 GMT

It was a short one, but maybe I'll make another (... if I don't end up having to visit the cardiac unit).

The dogs woke me up early this morning, again, and I couldn't get back to sleep, so I figured I'd put on freedocumentaries.org and find something to lull me back to sleep. The first one I chose wasn't very good for that -- it had subtitles. It's really hard to get lulled back to sleep when you're reading subtitles.

Anyway, it was one that I'd read about somewhere recently, called "Santa's Workshop." It's a Scandinavian production documenting the relationship between European toy companies and the workers in China who actually make the toys. You should see this movie -- if for no other reason than that, the next time someone sticks their nose in the air and says "North American workers are going to have to learn to compete on a global level," you'll know exactly what they're talking about. They'd like to see us accept child labour, slave wages, unsafe working conditions, and no barriers to dumping waste right here in North America. So next time you hear that, please call 'em on it! ;-)

The only thing I found somewhat disappointing was that, as usual, they gave the actual culprits a pass -- the profiteers: bankers, shareholders, investment firms Wall St./Bay St. These are the people who are looking to maximize their profits by increasing the spread between how little they can pay the workers and how much they can charge the consumers. As the one executive points out, there's not much they can do on the consumer end of things -- consumers are cheap, and won't pay higher prices. At first, one executive tried to insist that his company has ethics and standards for conduct in their contracts, but when it was shown these weren't enforced, he tried to flip responsibility onto consumers, saying they wouldn't pay more. And I agree with that. If it cost more to make something because workers were paid a living wage, workplace conditions were reasonably safe, and environmental standards were strictly enforced, then things would cost a lot more, and consumers would consume a lot less -- and you know, it probably wouldn't be such a big deal to the average consumer in the end.

We consume way more than we did 20, 30, 50 years ago -- and yet, middle class and working people were probably happier then. I think they felt wealthier. The people it would hurt would be those who have increased their wealth the most in recent decades by selling consumers something we don't need (but can afford) and doing an end-run around Western standards and values at the cost of much human suffering and environmental damage. I think I read somewhere (maybe in one of Dr. Krugman's op-ed's in the NYT) that the poor these days are actually a little poorer than they were in the 80s; the middle class is only slightly better off; but the wealthy elite are something like six times better off. Well... this is exactly how they achieved that.

The people making money from globalization know full well about the child labour, the long hours, the lack of living wages, pollution, political oppression and human rights violations, but they don't care.

So should I care? I do, actually. And yet, I am guilty of profiting from slave labour. I don't buy much, but much of what I did buy this year came right from China. For example, I bought a pair of glasses for $40. I know that, by ordering them online from a Chinese company, I bypassed local opticians and their staffs. I know that I didn't contribute to the local economy, and I know full well that my glasses were made in some sweat shop. But the thing is, they would have been anyway, even if I had paid hundreds of dollars more and bought from a local optician. If I'm going to buy imported goods made by exploited workers -- something hugely distasteful to me -- then I prefer to keep the cost savings in my own pocket, and out of the profit margins of those who brought us globalization.

One thing for sure: by doing it this way, I know that if I could change anything (like maybe write a blog or share a documentary about worker and environmental conditions in other parts of the world), I will. Big companies like Wal-Marts *have* a choice. They don't have to super size their profit margins. They don't have to bully Chinese manufacturers. They want to. They know exactly what they're doing and they don't feel a bit guilty. You don't see them doing anything for exploited workers around the world, except making sure they stay exploited.

I know (... believe me, I know!) how hard it is to avoid buying products that were made under deplorable conditions somewhere in the world. But one thing we can perhaps do is cut out the "middle man." These days, you can deal directly with many Chinese companies through eBay and other online sites. I'm thinking it might be a good idea to do that, whenever possible. Corporate retailers accuse us of being cheap and thus necessitating their bad faith dealings in other countries -- so if that's true, why wouldn't we go for even better prices than what they're offering us? All we have to do is cut them (and their profit margins) out of the transaction, and deal directly with Chinese retailers.

Any bets that if a significant number of people start dealing directly to buy from China, bypassing the corporate profit margins, that suddenly we'll see big corporations whistling a new tune on things like free trade, globalization and protectionism?

Please check out the documentary if you can.

So sweet! Tears were rolling down my cheeks!

Sat, 12 Dec 2009 23:52:53 GMT

What a beautiful morning!!!

Mon, 30 Nov 2009 14:12:48 GMT

I woke up to snow this morning for the first time this year! It will complicate things a bit as there is no sidewalk to my house, but I'll have to think of something. I am just thrilled to see it!

And I also feel a great burden has been lifted off me, as I finally finished that dreadful story, "Of Human Bondage." I was in literary bondage over that one. I nearly decided to put it down a few times, but in the end, I finished it because so many people have told me that it was an important book to them. I'm not sure I see why.

When I read, I tend to get very caught up in the story. If it's a story about desperate times, I tend to feel a little desperate in my own life. If it's a story of inequality or injustice, I become quite the activist. If it's a story about love, I am amorous; if it's about love lost, I am lovelorn right along with it. This story could easily have been called "The Budget of Phillip Carey" because the state of his finances hangs over the reader's head until very late in the book. I found that very disagreeable, and I'll be eager to shake off the meanness of it.

Seems like very good advice!

Fri, 27 Nov 2009 01:28:13 GMT

5 Exercises For Men To Boost Their Sex Lives

Playing to the audience

Thu, 26 Nov 2009 19:42:01 GMT

At some point in a dream this morning, I began having sex with a man (no one I actually know). It started as some kissing, some groping, and eventually we were having sex, standing up. This was going well, and somehow we'd both lost most of our clothing, when out of the corner of my eye, I saw someone sitting in a wing chair, holding a newspaper, but watching us. It was then I realized that we were in some sort of lobby of a hotel, perhaps. I looked around, and there were others, both men and women, watching us. I brought this to my partners attention, but he just shrugged it off, as though he was aware of it from the start. I felt very self-conscious, but we didn't stop right away. Afterward, he went over and talked to some of the people who were watching. I woke up right about then.

Something similar actually happened to me once. An old boyfriend and I had visited Toronto to see some friends. We ended up at the one guy's dad's place, North of Toronto. There was a big party, but I got a cluster headache so severe, I could barely see out of my one eye. We were staying over, and we were assigned the day bed in the back den, a very dark room with wood paneling and just one small window. Some time later, my boyfriend joined me but didn't wake me. Just around dawn, while it was still very dark in the room, we both woke up and started having sex. At some point, I thought I heard something, but I was having a very good time, and soon forgot about it. When I started cumming, he let go too and although we were at someone else's house, we believed ourselves to be off a the end of a long hallway with no one else close by -- so we were a bit noisy.

A few seconds passed, and someone started laughing hysterically. Several people began applauding. We were both MORTIFIED! (Him more so than me, as he was the more sexually inhibited of the two of us.) It turns out that some people had brought tents and sleeping bags, intending to camp out in the yard -- but when it rained, they brought their sleeping bags in and camped on the floor in the room we were in. We never heard them come in!

We both felt about 2 inches tall at breakfast that morning.

______________________________

I'm reading two books: the first is "Of Human Bondage" by W. Sommerset Maugham. I'm having a great deal of trouble getting through it because I just don't like the protagonist. I find it difficult to feel any sympathy for him. It is an amazingly honest book, though. I hate to say it, but I'm really not sure I will finish it. Especially since I've started on a second book this week.

I suspect it will be quite good, as it was a gift and it couldn't have been easy to find. It's Helen Waddell's "Peter Abelard" (1933) -- the story of a Middle Ages romance between Abelard & Heloise. I'm still not clear if Abelard is a monk or a priest or what, but I guess he's supposed to be abstinent. (And from everything I've seen in my life so far, one of the quickest sure-fire ways to get laid is to take a vow of abstinence. ;-)

The second is an actual hard-cover book. I find it easier to read electronic matter, but I doubt this book exists in e-format at this time. I was hoping for a couple sunny days to read on the sun porch -- even in the winter, I like to wrap up in a sleeping bag and go out there for a bit -- but it's been quite miserable here this week. Just to give you an indication of how unseasonable the weather is, we have dandelions blossoming in the yard today. At the end of November.

If I had a dollar for every time I heard....

Wed, 25 Nov 2009 22:18:06 GMT

Him: It was huge when I put it in!

Me: Corned beef briskets shrink, dear.

Taking a few days off...

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 18:38:12 GMT

My husband is booked for a double hernia repair tomorrow, and I figure he's going to be pretty sore for a couple days, so I'm taking off tomorrow through Sunday so I can ~~get lots of mileage out of goosing him~~ give him a hand with the dogs and stuff he usually takes care of around here so he can get some rest.

See you next week!

Let me clarify...

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 19:35:31 GMT

Since my last post, a number of friends -- people I know well -- have written to ask if they were the someone I blogged about a few days ago who annoyed me by calling me "sexy."

The key words overlooked here are "... it's off-putting when someone I don't know from Adam calls me that."

In other words, if I'd know you from Adam, it's not a problem. In fact, I like it. But I feel it's an inappropriate way to speak to someone you don't know.

Off to a bad start...

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 19:46:58 GMT

It's been one of those days. Someone phoned earlier and was speechless when I answered. No, really. Speechless. It appears that he wasn't expecting a live person to answer, and thus wasn't prepared.

Then someone contacted me through my live support text feature on my site. He started right off by addressing me as "sexy." Now, as everyone knows, I certainly am sexy. But somehow, it's off-putting when someone I don't know from Adam calls me that. Or "hun." Or "darling." Or any number of cutsy names by which you wouldn't address your female physician or loans officer at your bank. Or perhaps you might address a cashier or waitress that way -- but many of them would also immediately file you under 'jackass' for doing so.

So, of course, I got snarly about it. And he went off, probably thinking, "Sheesh! If she's this uptight in text chat, imagine how uptight she is in person."

But those of you who have met me know that I'm anything but.

What this poor sap doesn't realize is that he was a victim of natural selection. Most call girls wouldn't say so publicly, but I will: guys who approach us that way tend to be more problematic down the road than guys who approach us as respectfully as they would persons in any other business person. I like to be selective. I'm looking more for long term relationships than quick money. So I have to size a person up and decide if I think he's going to be someone I will be happy spending time with for years to come. And if I do say so myself, I do a pretty good job of it! Based on stories I hear from some of the other ladies, I seem to have a solid line-up of princes.

So just remember, guys: first impressions count. If you want the best experiences, it's better to be on your best behaviour when you first make contact. Think of it this way: while you're interviewing us, we're interviewing you.

An interesting week....

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 22:54:33 GMT

Okay, so my daughter -- who is in radio -- got sent to a big brand name resort this week to do some live broadcasts and give away some free prizes. I'm not going to say publicly which resort or where because I believe this sort of thing can happen anywhere, and I don't think this particular place or venue should be singled out.

Anyway, first night she and her boyfriend were there, their room was broken into. Most valuables were in the safe, but her iPhone and camera were swiped.

This put a serious damper on their trip, what with having to meet with security and such, but she's an experienced traveler (much more so than me!) and she knows it can happen anywhere, any time -- despite the best efforts of security.

So yesterday was the day they were supposed to come home. I was awakened yesterday morning by a phone call from someone identifying himself as a police officer. He told me that they had my daughter in custody. He said a search of her room had revealed a "key" of cocaine.

!!!!

Of course, I knew this didn't sound anything like my daughter. But still, stranger things have happened. And my shake-down artist commiserated, saying that they, themselves, felt it was a set up. He was dancing around to the point of asking me to send money to resolve the matter quickly and neatly.

Regrettably, I had been awakened out of a sound sleep. The cat had me up earlier and had mercifully -- finally! -- allowed me to doze off again. If I'd been thinking, I would have waited until he'd given me full instructions WRT sending payment. But no. Instead, I blurted out "and how do I know you're not the one who ripped off her cell phone???" Duh!

Not that it probably would have helped anyway. I sincerely doubt that the resort is interested in justice through the courts. They wrote my daughter a cheque to cover replacement of the items. I sincerely doubt they even reported it to the police. Police reports = crime stats and I don't think that serves their interests. Best to sweep it under the carpet whenever possible and deal with problems internally. (Most resorts are locked down tighter than Gitmo. You can leave if you want -- but they don't recommend it. Fact is, resorts are actually pretty good at security, although no one is perfect.)

Anyway, she took the whole matter in stride, but her boyfriend was hopping mad. Initially, I thought I had nothing, but with some coaxing from him, I realized that I'd taken the initial call on my (other) Skype number -- and I have that set up to record all incoming and outgoing calls with Skype Call Recorder, as I often need to record interviews or verbal instructions from my clients in my other business. It was only after he mentioned it that I thought to go back and check -- yes! I had some of our conversation recorded.

We had a bad connection through Skype, so I insisted he phone me on my home number. And that gave me a "last number" on him.

So I had a fair bit for him to give to the "security." Although, I doubt they were interested in using it, beyond getting rid of the employee most likely involved in the heist.

And now it appears that just about everyone in her phone directory is being hit up with shake-down calls. Sigh!

Some times? Staying at home is the best bet.

(Although, these days, even that's no guarantee.)

"Sex is Fun" -- The game

Fri, 23 Oct 2009 19:16:27 GMT

I was just surfing around, and I found a site for this card game called "Sex is Fun." Basically, it's a game where couples ask each other questions from the cards (or act out scenarios described on the cards) and then try to guess their partner's answer or response.

At first, I thought it looked kind of hokey, but then I got to thinking about it. This might give some couples a way to explore their fantasies without actually having to take ownership of them. For example, one of the cards has the male partner ask the female partner if she would allow him to explore her anus with his finger. But if this is something she really doesn't like, it's not like it was his idea! It was just on the card he drew. But say he figures, "nah, she'd never go for that" and she surprises him. He may have lost the point, but he's gained a bit of useful knowledge that he might otherwise have been too shy to bring up.

Interesting, eh? I should note that while I'm fairly open minded, my partner is not. Early in our marriage, we had some brutal incidents of poor communication that resulted in some inhibition on both sides. Example: during our early weeks together, I did something (can't recall what) that he was a little annoyed with (not a lot, just a little), so I kiddingly said, "I guess you'll have to spank me!" He was silent for a moment, and then asked if I was into sadomasochism. Yeeessshhhh!!! I was only kidding!! No whips and chains. Another time, he told me he was so relieved that he didn't always have to go through a bunch of foreplay with me, like he did his previous girlfriend. Um... gee, thanks!

Having been a call girl for many years prior to our meeting, I was used to being ultra-sensitive to my sex partners' feelings, but he pretty much blurted out whatever stupid thing came to mind. This resulted in me clamming up for years, not wanting another awkward situation. And I think my reaction to some of the things he said got him to thinking that maybe it was better just to keep his mouth shut.

I don't know if a game like this would have helped us get to know each other better, but it would have been less risky.

Massage?

Thu, 22 Oct 2009 20:13:46 GMT

I found this an oddly erotic video. What do you think? http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5485399865835041889#

Mountains O' Mourne

Tue, 13 Oct 2009 22:07:41 GMT

(near as I can remember the lyrics -- a favourite since I first heard the Kingston Trio perform it in the 60s. Most recently performed for me by a dear friend, who played it on his harmonica too. Clad only in his underwear.)

Oh Mary, this London's a wonderful sight
with people here working by day and by night.
They don't sow potatoes, nor barley nor wheat,
but there's gangs of them digging for gold in the streets.
At least when I asked them, that's what I was told
so I just took a hand at this digging for gold.
But for all that I found there, I might as well be
where the mountains of Mourne sweep down to the sea.

I believe that, in writing, a wish you expressed
was to how the fine ladies of London were dressed.
Well, if you'll believe me, when asked to a ball
they don't wear no tops to their dresses at all.
For I've seen it myself, and you couldn't ask me to
say that if they were bound for a ball or a bath.
Don't be starting up fashions, now Mary McGee
in the place where the dark Mourne sweeps down to the sea.

There's beautiful girls here, oh never you mind!
With beautiful shapes nature never designed.
And lovely complexions of roses and cream.
But let me remark, with regards to the same:
that if there those roses you ventured to sip
the colour might all come away on your lip.
So I'll wait for the wild rose that's waiting for me
where the Mountains of Mourne sweep down to the sea.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Mon, 12 Oct 2009 22:46:16 GMT

Gee, for once we actually remembered Thanksgiving and did it right -- we weren't jumping, we didn't have mac & cheese, we even took a few minutes to discuss some of the recent developments in our lives we have to be grateful for. And we made a turkey -- albeit, the smallest turkey I've ever seen: just 8.7 lbs. In the past, whenever we've tried to make turkey, it's come out dry, tough, unpleasant. (We don't splurge for the pricey Butterballs.) My crazy hillbilly cousin down in Indiana swears by deep frying turkey, but that sounds like a good way to get to know your local Fire Department, frankly. But we may have found our solution. This year, we brined our turkey for a couple days before roasting it. We caught on to brining chicken, pork and even some cuts of beef (corned beef) over the past couple years, and really love the results. So this year, we brined the turkey, and really, it was the best, most flavourful, moistest, juiciest turkey either of us has ever eaten! Maybe we'll have turkey more often now. We served it with savory stuffing, cranberry sauce, cole slaw, and for dessert, there's a pumpkin pie. (But I doubt I'll be able to handle dessert until tomorrow at the earliest!!)

Sorry if I've been incommunicado the past few days. We FINALLY got the upstairs hallway floors and stairs painted. I love it! If someone would have told me a few years ago that I'd be thrilled to see hardwood floors painted over, I wouldn't have believed it. But as those who've visited our home know, it really was the best solution for this place. Refinishing the floors was impossible; carpeting would have been impractical with our dogs; and cushion flooring too expensive. We painted the family room/office at the beginning of summer, and love the way it looks and cleans up. And with our brood of 4-legged brats, we need something that cleans up nicely.

But what a job! Dogs and Mina all had to be kept off the stairs and on the first floor for several days. The dogs weren't a huge problem -- we just brought their kennels down to the dining room -- but Mina was another matter. She likes to go pussyfooting around in the early hours, and we didn't want any kittycat paw prints on our freshly painted floors. We put off doing the job for more than a week while trying to figure out how to solve this problem. Then it struck us! Move all the furniture back in the living room and put up the tent. Put Mina inside it along with her favourite Liberator Shapes, her pottybox, her food and water, treats, toys, etc.

So Mina went camping for a few days -- she was "roughing it." She fell instantly in love with the tent -- I think she was disappointed when we took it down. Only problem for me is that she usually comes and wakes me up in the early hours of morning, wanting pets and massages and treats, and so she would meow loudly each morning for me to come into her tent and spend quality time with her. Yeesh! Oh, and did I mention that she didn't want me on the furniture? Yeah, well... we had to come to terms on that.

I was in there with her this morning, and I finally fell back to sleep. I had the strangest dream that Fred threw a surprise birthday party for me, and invited the Prime MInister, the Governor General, all kinds of important muckity-mucks and ambassadors and such, all of whom brought their spouses and kids. And of course the media tagged along to cover the event. Speeches were being given while I was trying to hide out upstairs! Yes, this was a nightmare for me -- a most fearful scenario! I'm not really a very social or public person, and so I was freaking out about all of this, while having to be polite to important people who were kind enough to show up to see me. I awoke when I felt someone's little teeth on my arm -- I guess she'd been trying to wake me without success. She rarely bites anymore. She just puts her teeth on your -- just to remind you that she can inflict a painful bite. If she's displeased. Over breakfast, I made Fred promise NEVER to throw me a birthday party!

Mina wants to go camping again next weekend.

Catching up...

Sat, 03 Oct 2009 16:28:19 GMT

The past few weeks have flown by! I haven't been doing a very good job of blogging, I fear! My daughter got me into Twitter (where I'm "JoyfulC") and while I'll confess that I still don't understand it, I do try to keep up with it.

So here's what all's happened over the past couple weeks:

My beloved Palm Zire broke down! I use it for everything -- I read my books on it, keep my tunes on it, my recipes, shopping lists, all my organizational info, of course (to-do, contacts, schedule, memos, etc.), and I have a few apps on there that I really love, including a time one that has all kinds of cool extra features, such as it allows me to input my GPS location and then find out sunrise and sunsets for each day (including civil, nautical & astronomical -- okay, why would I want to know that? Well, Mina pretty much goes by astronomical for starting and ending her day). I also have a kickass conversion app that also includes a calculator, Periodic Table, and a list of Physical Constants (... why would I need those? just because, okay??). I rarely use the single megapixel camera or video, but I have used it to document something just before we take it apart or so I can compare something in one place to something in another. The voice memo is great to grab to make a quick note to myself. But anyway, it broke. The problem was the charging cord. I think this may have also affected the battery a bit, as it doesn't seem to hold a charge as long as it used to.

So what to do? I really like the iPod Touch! If I'd seen it before I bought my netbook, I probably would have gone with that instead. Problem is the price. I can't find any real dealz. I picked up the Zire refurbed for $46 (yes!!) and for whatever reason, that was a huge factor in my love for it. I will get an iPod Touch for sure -- but not until I can get it on a deal, which may mean waiting a year or two. Going without was making me miserable. So my husband got on eBay and found me a new charging cord and battery for prices I liked, and the cord has since arrived. We may not have needed the battery, but I'm sure we will eventually. Whew! At least I have my little Zire back! I was going stir crazy without it.

We've been doing a lot -- A LOT! -- in the kitchen. We've at least harvested a few tomatoes, and so far, we've been eating them like crazy. I made some ketchup out of some of them, and some pico de gallo, but mostly (and especially the sweet cherry tomatoes) we just toss into burritos, wraps, breakfast cereal (... joking... but I've considered it!). Here's a pic of my favourite breakfast this season -- I call it Cheesy Over Easy:

Sooooo good! I have also been making pies. I made up some chicken pot pies last week, and a pumpkin pie from scratch, and an apple pie. I'm having a time getting a handle on the crusts. The crust on the pumpkin pie was like wallboard! We've been rendering our own lard, and it is a bit purer than the storebought stuff (which is hydrogenated to give it a more stable shelf life) and so I'm trying to figure out how to adjust. The crust on the apple pie was considerably better, but I think I can get something even flakier if I keep working at it.

As for reading, with the Zire down for a while, I was lost at sea for a bit. Just before the Zire went down, I read Dan Brown's latest, "The Lost Symbol." One of the things he noted in the novel was that the American founding fathers were actually deists, as opposed to Christians -- or at the very least, took a deist approach to writing official documents. I was able to find and download (free!) copies of the American Declaration of Independence and the American Constitution. I've been going over them, and guess what! It's true! There's absolutely no evidence to suggest (as some wingnut 'Mericans like to do these days) that the founding fathers intended for the US to be a Christian nation. In fact, they went out of their way to avoid any mention of Jesus or Christianity or any other specifically religious term. They speak of a "Creator" and "nature," but don't name names.

And that makes sense, when you think about it. Many early American colonists fled England and Europe precisely because of religious hassles. Think of the tumult that England went through from the time that Henry VIII decided to replace the Catholic church with his own Anglican church of which he was the head. Then his daughter reversed the decision, and the next daughter reversed that again -- and with every new policy would come seizures of lands and property, executions, imprisonments, terror, intrigue. It seems obvious that the founding fathers would seek to protect the fledgling United States from that.

Another thing that's being batted around a lot lately is the notion that the founding fathers intended the United States to be a capitalist country. That's probably true -- but I'm sure they never intended to see corporate capitalism as it exists today. I read Gangs of America (Ted Nace) a couple years back that said (which I didn't know) that originally, corporations in the US were tightly leashed. They were required to secure charters from state legislatures, and these charters were very strictly defined with respect to scope and lifespan. Corporations had to exist for a specific purpose, and could only conduct business to that end or own property to that end, within state lines, and for a specific length of time (such as a year or two).

And again, it would make sense that the founding fathers would feel a need to keep corporations in tight check. After all, many of the grievances colonists had were directly related to large corporations (such as the East India Tea Company) that lobbied the Crown for trade rules and laws favourable to their profits at the expense of the colonists. (Similar to the way corporate industry lobbies governments for rules and laws favourable to their profits at the expense of middle class working people today.) It's unlikely the founding fathers would have gone to bat for the health insurance industry or Wall Street.

And other than that, I've been rereading some books I read a few years ago. Hey, we watch re-runs, eh?

This weekend, we really need to buckle down and start painting floors again. We have to do the floor in the massage room, the upstairs hall and the stairs. Ugh! I don't look forward to the fumes, but it's still warm enough to open windows. Yesterday -- the coldest day so far this year -- the furnace quit. But it was promptly fixed!

The weather stunk for most of this summer. Our garden was woeful. The pool developed an intractable algae problem. But all in all, it was the best summer ever! I love being out here on the farm every day instead of just weekends. I've met some great new friends. And...

... I discovered this new technique that gives me very intense orgasms very quickly. It's an oral technique. I always said getting there was half the fun, but this is pretty fun too! I just can't get enough of it. Ask the next time we meet, and I'll show you how it works. ;-)

Whew! Busy week!

Sat, 19 Sep 2009 15:01:21 GMT

My visit to Ottawa last Wednesday went very well! I only came in for the day, and so it was very comfortable, relaxed and joyful seeing some great friends. My only regret is that there were a few I didn't get a chance to see. Perhaps next time? (Oh, and someone gave me three very nice vine-ripened tomatoes, which have been put to good use!)

This week has been a busy one. Lots going on. While in Ottawa this week, we had a chance to stop into Produce Depot and pick up some much-needed veggies to put up for the winter. We've seen no loose fresh spinach out our way at all at the places we usually shop. So amongst other things, I now have a bunch of veggies to process to get us through the winter months -- spinach to blanch, chop and put up in the freezer; zucchini (from our garden) to grate and freeze; cabbages to make into sauerkraut, etc.

I know this is going to sound odd, but we tried rendering our own lard this week. !!! It was quite easy and came out well. I've already used some to make tortillas and some to make dog cookies. It's beautiful, pure and white, and was super easy to do. We picked up a postal scale at a yard sale last year (... actually, we didn't buy it -- my husband took the last remaining unsold items off the lady's hands, as she was trying to get rid of as much as possible for a tight moving date -- and this is one of the items). We used it to package the lard into 1/4-lb servings. Now we need to buy apples and pumpkins. I think this winter will see lots of pies around our house!

I find it amazing that we were warned off butter and lard since what? The 70s? Margarine and vegetable shortening, it was insisted, were healthier choices. Now after all these years of eating that crap, turns out they were wrong after all! Anymore, whenever I see the words "lite," "healthy choice," "lo cholesterol," "lo cal," "low fat," "sugar free," "no added salt," etc., I view it as a euphemism for "tastes like shit." Too cynical? All I know is, we stopped eating almost all processed "convenience" foods a couple years back, including fast foods and take-away, and I've lost 25 lbs without dieting. As anyone who reads my post here knows, I'm rather sensual in my approach to food.

Still waiting on our tomatoes, although some of the cherries and (I think) Tiny Tims are starting to ripen. I made "sun dried" (in the oven) tomatoes with some of smaller ones yesterday, and sometime this weekend, I'm hoping to make up some Sun-Dried Tomato & Kalamata Olive Bread. I never liked tomatoes generally, but if they're vine-ripened, that's different! We've been throwing slices of cherry tomatoes into salads, tortilla wraps, and even under the eggs on our Cheesy Over-Easy's in the morning!

And I'm reading Dan Brown's latest, The Lost Symbol. So far, it's just so-so. A reliable read.

....

OH NO! The doorbell just rang -- it was the Jehovah's Witnesses (again!). But this time, they opened the gate with our dogs in the backyard and walked right in! What if our dogs had gotten out? What if one of our dogs had bitten them? (Our dogs don't usually bite, but the truth is that any dog will bite if they're confused -- and Jehovah's Witnesses confuse me!) Over the years, we have tried to be tolerant and polite towards these people, who seem to have little regard or respect for anyone else. But this is unbelievable!

I wish the government would do something about these pests. They regularly target streetwalkers and johns -- why? Because they're a public nuisance. They have cracked down on telemarketers, again, because they were a nuisance and interfering with people's right to privacy. They should do it with the Jehovah's Witnesses for the same reasons. I understand that their religion demands that they proselytize, but their religious rights shouldn't trump my rights in my home and on my property. Surely there must be less invasive ways for them to live up to their religious mandate without violating everyone else's privacy and security.

Grrr! And ironically, they could have come to the front door. I guess we're going to have to get a lock for the back gate. It's ironic that we rarely lock our doors, but now we'll have to start locking the gate -- not to keep out criminals, but to keep out a bunch of self-centred ideologues who have no respect or regard for anyone else!

In Ottawa, Wed September 16

Sun, 13 Sep 2009 13:45:46 GMT

I have time left for appointments between 11 AM and 3 PM.

Should I notify you when I'm going to be in town?

Thu, 10 Sep 2009 19:19:23 GMT

A couple people have asked me to notify them when I'm going to be in town. And actually, this works out great! If you'd like to be notified, please email me, contact me through my site or give me a call so I can put you on the list.

In other news, the massage room is up and I'm back in the business of making guys squirm again! Too much fun!

The Love Shack's getting a dedicated massage room!

Mon, 07 Sep 2009 23:06:48 GMT

One problem with giving up my apartment in town and working from The Love Shack on the farm is space. There just isn't much of it! And even some of it isn't usable, or isn't usable year round. There are no weeping tiles and so much water runs through my basement each year that my best bet might be to install a watermill and sell power back to Ontario Hydro. So needless to say, it's not even good for storage. We have enclosed porches on the front and the back of the house, but they're not insulated (and are threatening to fall off) so they're only usable three seasons at best. Still, we just love this place -- in spite of (... or perhaps because of) it's primitive character. I have nightmares about moving.

But space is at a premium and one early sacrifice that was made was our dedicated massage room -- something we've had in any home we've lived in since AT LEAST 1994.

No more.

Turns out, we had a guest bedroom (heretofore referred to as "Mina's Room") and our bedroom, which included our bed, a couple dressers and a couple of dog crates. The thing with our cat, Mina is that she wasn't socialized to dogs from an early age -- and we have a pack of very wild & crazy dogs! So while she can handle them one-on-one or maybe even two at a time (depending on the combination), she needs a place where she can be that they can't get in to. We decided that would be the guest bedroom, as she commandeered the Liberator Shapes Wedge/Ramp combo with stage while still at the apartment (... how prescient of the people at Liberator to make furniture exclusively for kitties!). The dogs would wreak havoc on my Liberator Shapes in no time flat, and so we keep them out of the spaces where we have them. That's how Mina's private space ended up being the guest room.

BUT while she's content to come out as it pleases her and to be alone in there most of the day (with frequent visits to pay homage and offer treats and ear rubs to her), there is one time of the day that she demands that I come in and be with her: usually around 4 AM - 7 AM. All hell breaks loose if this SWMBO is defied -- she yowls loudly, jumps on our bed (hard!) and then jumps off again, trying to lead us back to her room. If that doesn't work, she taunts the dogs in their crates until she has them barking and going nuts. (Always fun at that hour of the morning!) And if that doesn't work, she prowls shelves and bureau tops, knocking off whatever she can find. Suffice to say, I was quickly trained to come in with her in the morning on demand. Then when my husband gets up to take the dogs out (they regularly wake up with all this commotion), he usually joins me in there. So why exactly do we need two bedrooms? Lately we've just been making it easy on ourselves and sleeping in the guest room all night.

But this left us with a room not used -- sacrilege in this house! And a massage table gathering dust. Sure, we always say that it sets up in a flash and if we ever feel the need for some massage, we can find a place to set it up temporarily. Truth is, it rarely happens. If massage is going to be a big part of your home life, you really need a table at the ready for those impulse massages.

So the long and the short of it is, today, we did away with the master bedroom and we're setting up a dedicated massage room in there instead. It will be more than worth it, I'm sure! And a real treat for us (and our guests!!) as we haven't enjoyed that since we moved here. The only person who might have a problem with it is our daughter, as she views the guest room as hers (...silly girl!). If she comes again next summer, we'll just have to figure out a temporary bed solution -- maybe one of those inflatables. Besides, she's a huge devotee of massage herself, often parking herself on the table and refusing to budge until she gets a massage.

(I'm probably going to need this in a couple days. As anyone who's visited The Love Shack knows, it was designed for shorter people than most of us today. The door frames upstairs, in particular, offer bare clearance. Today I managed to misjudge and come up hard, banging the top of my head on the frame. I only have a small egg there, but the sickening CRUNCH!-SQUISH from my neck was the real problem. The pain steadily traveled down the side of my head to my neck, then my shoulder and now to my shoulderblade. Today, it's just icing, aspirin, inversion therapy and booze! But tonight I can barely turn my head, and once the swelling's dealt with, some massage is going to be great.)

Live better!! Include massage in your life!

It was bound to happen...

Fri, 04 Sep 2009 21:31:22 GMT

It seems that any time I come off a streak of several really good books in a row, I hit a "dog" (...no offense intended to the majority population of my household).

What possessed me to do it, I don't know -- but I selected "Deadly Innocence" by Toronto Star reporters (.. yeah, I shoulda known) Scott Burnside and Alan Cairns as my most recently completed book. (Maybe it was just the e-version, but it was terribly edited and organized. Almost every page was riddled with misspellings and errors. Example: in chapter 5, the misspelling 'vacume' occurs -- oh brother!) Often I'd have to guess at what something meant. Still, I suspect this may have been an OCR of a scan, and that would account for the problems, as most of the grammar and syntax was okay.

It's the story of Paul Bernardo and Karla Homolka. I'll confess that during the trial, I didn't really follow it all that closely. I felt the media was having a field day and distorting things to their most advantageous end. And the whole matter disgusted me.

But I'll also admit that I always believed that the Crown had made a "deal with the devil" with Homolka. This book put that in some doubt for me. I had never bought into her "battled wife syndrome" excuse -- I mean, it's hard for me to. I guess when you've never been in any sort of relationship even remotely close to what she describes -- and on top of that, you've engaged in fantasty role-playing that was similar to what she and her husband did (without actually torturing or killing anybody, of course!!!!!) -- it's just hard to believe that it could be an excuse for participating in the kidnapping and rape/torture of an unconsenting and defenseless human being, much less her murder. I always felt that something in Homolka had to have been into it for her to do what she did.

And perhaps some part of me still does, in spite of the new info presented in this book. (New to me. The book was published in 1995. I just haven't looked before this.) I was deeply affected by an explanation from one of the experts interviewed toward the end of the book. Karla was only 17 to Paul's 23 when they took up together. There are 9 years difference in age between my husband and myself, but we were 24 and 33 when we met -- I was already an independent adult who had lived on my own, had a career, been off to university and knew a little about myself before getting involved with an older man. If Karla would have been 23 and Paul 29 when they met, the dynamics might have been very different. I believe that.

I was floored to find how many people the Bernardos were involved with on a day-to-day basis. Also I was floored to learn that Paul Bernardo essentially made his living smuggling cigarettes from the US. I guess I'm not criminal material, but I always assumed that if one were going to get into the business of kidnapping, raping and killing young women, they'd want to be purer than Caesar's wife in all other aspects of their lives in order to eliminate the possibility of anyone suspecting them or the police sniffing around. Also, I assumed that people involved in this sort of thing would tend to keep to themselves and live very private lives. Not Paul and Karla! They were apparently very social, partied regularly and maintained close ties with her family.

It's still hard for me to come to grips with the notion that a woman could stand by and allow such things to be done to another woman or a child. My mind rushes to all the things Karla might have done, the action she might have taken. But then, I must realize that I've never found myself in her situation. I certainly know what it's like to be beat up -- between car wrecks, motorcycle accidents, skydiving incidents, windsurfing splats, etc. I've certainly had my fair share of cuts, bruises and broken bones -- but no human has ever intentionally, sadistically and systematically hurt me that way. It's romantic to think that we'd never allow ourselves to be cowed, but who knows? Until we're actually in that situation, how can we actually know? I think her trouble was she was young and naive and got into that situation, and was up to her neck in it before she knew what had happened.

I looked it up online -- she's since had a child and left Canada. It will be interesting to see if any further chapters in this story will be written. I hope, for everyone's sake, not.

Mug Shot of My (wo)Man-Eating Spider

Mon, 31 Aug 2009 15:22:22 GMT

A friend brought me this over the weekend.

What I don't like so much about my job...

Sat, 29 Aug 2009 17:43:23 GMT

Over the years, people have said to me, "oh that's horrible! How can you stand being a prostitute?" All I can figure is these people don't like sex much?? I mean, what's not to like? I wake up to emails every morning from guys who tell me I'm beautiful and sexy -- yeah, it's tough to take, I know! And then there are the guys who say it's important that I experience pleasure too. Torture! The truth is, the money isn't as great as people think (and Hollywood makes out), especially for those of us who prefer to take it slow, be selective and work only as much as we need to to keep a roof over our heads and still enjoy what we do.

But you don't have to be in the business very long to realize that the truly unpleasant thing has nothing to do with the guys we meet -- it's the guys we don't meet. Here are a few:

The TireKicker -- This is the kind of guy who spends his Saturday afternoons taking test drives in cars he couldn't afford (or has no intention to buy), or having a real estate agent show him around houses he couldn't afford (or has no intention to buy). He likes to window shop. And like any good tirekicker, the game is to get as much out of his poor victims as possible by dangling the chance that he might buy something.

I've been getting an extra helping of tirekickers lately, since moving out of town. You see, now that I'm no longer in town, they have an excuse why they can't see me right away. They usually start off by saying something like, "I've been following your web site for years, but never got a chance to see you." ??? I've been in Ottawa since 1989, with two short breaks in Kingston and Alberta. In ALL that time he never got a chance to see me? Uh huh. Twenty years is a pretty tight window I guess. Don't blink!

(Although even in town, I heard from tirekickers on a daily basis.)

He usually proceeds to dither... he's just not sure. Maybe I could do something to help him make up his mind, like say, put on a sexy web cam show for him, or exchange some sexy chat. Or maybe I could send him some photos that aren't on my site or give him access to my members area. Gee, maybe he could bring his laundry over and I'll do it naked for him. Yeesh.

For many, many years, I was patient with tirekickers because who knows? Maybe they just were really indecisive people. But not anymore. If it walks like a tirekicker and quacks like a tirekicker, I assume he's a tirekicker and waste as little time as possible on him.

BTW, when I was out in Alberta? I heard from numerous Ottawa guys who insisted that they were just getting ready to see me when I moved. Drat! But when I came back just seven months later, guess how many of these same guys did....

You guessed it. Zero.

The Guy Outside My Preferences -- Most people, including call girls, have preferences. Some may be based on age or even race or cultural background. I've had friends tell me that they didn't want to work for anyone in the same ethnic community that they come out of because they're afraid they'll run into someone they know. Makes sense! I've had friends tell me that they only want to work for single guys or don't prefer older gentlemen.

Me? I DO prefer older gentlemen. I will meet with people in their 30s, but 40 and upwards is mostly what I'm attracted to. Some of the sexiest partners I've had have been 70 or better. This isn't because I'm in my 50s. I felt the same way when I was in my teens and 20s, only back then, many older guys felt awkward seeing me because I was too young.

And actually, I DO preferred married guys -- and preferably married guys who love their wives, and/or have a healthy well-rounded appreciation for women. Not just for screwing women, but for women in general.

Enter The Guy Outside My Preferences. He's often too young to date my 30-year-old daughter even (...although her current SO is only 26 -- the cougar!). When I explain my preference, he takes it personally. Am I saying he's not mature?? He insists he's very mature! I just shake my head and laugh at that. I know a lot of older men, and not a one of them would cop to being mature! He insists that he prefers mature women. First of all, I'm older -- I am definitely not mature. There's photographic evidence around to prove it. Secondly, does he not realize that even if he can beat me over the head with his impeccably mature logic and get me to see him when I don't prefer to, that it isn't going to result in the best quality service for him?

Some older SPs love younger guys and playing the role of the MILF. Oh, and that's another thing. Any mention or insinuation of motherhood is a direct turn-off to me. I'm either in mommy mode or sexy vixen mode. I don't combine the two. Believe it or not, I'm actually only sexy when I'm alone with my husband or when I'm doing my job. In the rest of my life, I go out of my way NOT to be sexy. It's just safer, more discreet. If you're going to do something right under people's noses, it's best to be the last person they'd ever suspect.

Sense of Entitlement Guy -- Let's clear the air on something: using the services of a call girl is probably one of the most extravagant luxuries anyone can treat themselves to. It isn't a life necessity. I don't have anyone "over a barrel" as I've been accused of so many times (by guys who make this claim apparently completely straight-faced). As those who know me well would attest, I live very modestly. In fact, in recent years, I think it's entirely likely that, judged on the basis of income alone, my household falls under the poverty line, or at least very near it. (Although looked at from a quality of life perspective, we're probably wealthier than most billionaires.) So when this guy asks me to give him a lower rate that he likes better, essentially, he's asking me to help him get an extravagant luxury for himself at my own expense.

And if I point out that there is a wide range of prices out there, he usually counters with "but I want to see you!" Very flattering! Out of all the call girls out there, you want to rip me off? Go away.

And sadly, this guy might be one that I do see sometimes, although it usually ends badly. He's the guy that no matter what you give him, he wants something not on the menu. He's the one who thinks he should get the hour for the half hour rate -- but if I were to give it to him, he'd still want more. This is the guy who, if my rate was $5 would still complain. Why? Because he has a sense of entitlement. I've come to realize that all I can do when I encounter someone like this is leave him alone. I don't need the negativity.

I'm a call girl. Not Mother Freaking Theresa.

Uncomfortably Explicit Guy -- This guy wants to discuss intimate details before you've even met! This always puzzles me. Because none of the legit customers I've met over the years ever needed to do this -- so why would this guy need to? It's creepy.

Although, in this case, I think it could well be lack of sophistication. Many guys look to the review boards to learn about this business, and so they tend to learn everything they know from the guys who think they know everything. And... maybe those aren't the best people to learn from. I really do think some of the guys who start off with "do you do bbbj?" don't realize that they just put their feet in their mouths.

Best way to make a poor impression on anyone is to put them on the spot to compromise themselves with someone they don't know from Adam. I mean, by the time some guy is asking me this, he's already seen my web site, my videos, my ads, maybe even seen me participating in various forums. All I can see of him is a big question mark. I don't know who I'm dealing with. When I encounter that, I take the safe-rather-than-sorry approach. And everybody loses. Yeesh.
___________________________

Before the days of the internet, when we had to do all our interacting over the phone, guys would often say to me, "you're so nice in person, but you're such a bitch on the phone!" The reason for that is simple: on the phone, I dealt with everybody -- both the people I wanted to see and thought I would be a good match with, and many times more people like those above. People trying to get something for nothing out of me or rip me off. People trying to convince me to do something I don't prefer. People trying to compromise me. People just wasting my time as a form of entertainment.

When I actually have a chance to meet with someone I like and am excited about being with, this job cannot be beat! But the business side of it? Augh! If I ever do retire, I won't miss that part one little bit.

The evidence against the spider is mostly circumstantial...

Wed, 26 Aug 2009 19:49:04 GMT

About a week ago, I got a bad bite while in bed. I woke up and complained to my husband about it, and he said "it's probably a spider bite." Grr! That irked me because spiders often get blamed for biting humans, when actually they're innocent.

Think about it! Mosquitoes and biting flies have the quick-get-away advantage. They can be on and off you before you can get them. It's hard to get mosquitoes and flies. Not impossible, but they get away as least as often as you get them, if not more often. But the same isn't true for spiders. Spiders are relatively slow and people kill them easily. Therefore, I always assumed that if a spider were to feed on humans, natural selection would take care of it in a hurry and make sure the human-loving genes didn't get carried forward.

Anyway, over the course of the next few days, I got bit badly a few more times in my sleep. It was ungodly hot and humid -- and while I have a/c for use when entertaining a guest, we certainly don't leave it on at night. This old farmhouse isn't well-insulated enough to make air conditioning cost effective. So of course I was sleeping butt naked with no sheets even. Most of the bites were to my left breast and one very bad one to my left upper arm -- more fatty areas than mosquitoes and biting flies usually prefer.

One night, when I realized I'd been bitten, I turned on the light, determined to find the little bugger that had bitten me. I saw a spider hanging off the ceiling -- but I'd been seeing it around all along. I didn't assume it would try to bite me, in view of the dangers doing so would pose to it. So instead I cursed her for not having gotten the bug that was preying on me, and went back to sleep.

This went on and I got several very bad bites! Finally, last Saturday night, I was here on my own, listening to music (Fred having gone out to a party) when something bit me. I turned on the light and looked, and the spider was making its way across the sheets towards the wall. Still, I didn't think anything of it, assuming that spiders are usually too smart to cross humans. I fell asleep and awoke to the feeling of something crawling on my chest. I brushed it off, and it felt substantial. Without even thinking, I crushed it between the sheets and it left big reddish-brown splotches, like blood. I turned on the light and pulled back the sheet -- the spider!

And oddly enough, I haven't been bit since.

Could it be that this spider accidentally bit me once defensively, and decided that it liked the way I tasted, so came back for more?? (Believe it or not, I've heard that from human males a few times.)

I'm still inclined to believe that this is more a case of circumstantial evidence than proof positive that I got bit several times by a common variety Eastern Ontario spider. It was more likely a biting fly -- as the bite sites appear more diffuse than that of a mosquito.
Still, I suppose it might be possible. The whole thing only goes to prove, though, that spiders biting humans is a no-win proposition for the spiders. If it was indeed this spider that was biting me, then I'm sure I killed her before she had a chance to reproduce. (If I were the kind of person who believes that spiders bite humans routinely, I would have killed her that first night I saw her on the ceiling.) But if not, then she is just another creature framed and sentenced to the death penalty in a misunderstanding.

In general, though, we don't kill spiders around here.